I'm Sorry
by xAbnormalxAlphax
Summary: Austria and Hungary have sex, but they both know that something is off. (Lemon, but not the kind you'd jack off to.)
1. You Didn't Deserve That

We were making out. I knew he was faking it. I know he wasn't mentally into this. He wasn't thinking of me while kissing me. I knew it.

I had been married to him for a while. I knew he was gay. I knew it fully. He didn't know that I knew, however. We had sex to cover each others' secrets, that he's gay and that I'm a trans-man. That I wanted to be on the top with him, and that he wanted to be with a man. He didn't know my secret, and he still doesn't. I hope he doesn't.

He pushed me onto the bed, unbuttoning his shirt while kissing me. He was a pretty good actor. But I could see it in his eyes. I could see that the last thing he wanted was to have sex with a woman. And the last thing I wanted was to be penetrated. I wanted to penetrate, not be penetrated. I want a penis. It sounds crazy, but it's a burning desire.

Soon, we were both naked. He pushed his penis into me, clenching his eyes shut. I reached up, fiddling with his curl. He let out a soft moan, beginning to thrust.

"Ah...Svi-" He stopped himself before he said Switzerland's name. "H-Hungary..." He was not that great of an actor.

My breathing was hitched. I didn't like being on the bottom, but it did give me sexual pleasure. "Mm...Austria..."

His eyes were shut tightly. He sped up slightly, letting out a small sexual grunt. I could tell he wasn't enjoying himself very much. He didn't like this, he didn't like this at all.

At one point I faked an orgasm. It wasn't very sexy to have a partner that was faking his enjoyment, and faking it poorly. It took him a long while to come. He eventually did, groaning a bit. It took him so long that it began to hurt me physically.

Afterwards he lay by me, panting. I looked into his purple eyes sadly. "I'm sorry."

"V-Vhat do you mean?"

"I know that you're gay. I'm sorry."

He had tears in his eyes. He blinked, causing a tear to run down his cheek. I wiped it off with my thumb. "P-Please, Hungary...You can't tell anyvone. Germany...Germany vould kill me...literally." More tears fell down his cheeks. I felt so bad for him.

"Austria...I..." I was about to tell him about that I was actually a guy, but I couldn't do it. Even after what he had told me, I couldn't say it. "Hey, it's okay. Nobody vill know. It'll be out little secret. I von't force you into sex anymore." I hugged him tightly, pressing his face against my breast. I felt his tears run down my chest. "It'll be alright." I sang to him all the calming songs I knew until he fell asleep crying in my chest. I set my chin on his head.

An hour passed, and he was still silently sleeping. I spoke to him, needing to speak. I knew he couldn't hear me, so I told him all my secrets. "Austria...I understand vhat it's like. To be hiding who you are." I sighed. "I'm a man. Austria..." A tear betrayed me as it fell from my eye. It angered me. I hated to seem weak. I buried my face into his chocolate locks, crying softly until I fell asleep.


	2. I Don't Deserve This

We lay next to each other in bed. I needed to tell him. I was so scared to, though. He wouldn't judge. I knew that. But…would he think of me differently? I cared about him and cared about what he thought of me. I…I loved him. Even if he didn't love me back because he thought I was a woman. Even if he loved some other man. I loved him. And I still do.

My hands were shaking. I could tell that I was sweating. My heart was beating incredibly quickly. I felt like it was about to beat out of my chest or something unrealistic. Austria looked very concerned, and he looked as if he was about to speak to me.

"Hungary…you okay?" His purple eyes met mine. His brow was furrowed in concern, causing a crease to form in between his eyebrows. He was always a worrywart.

"C-Can I…Can I talk to you?" I was doing it. I was doing it. I was going to tell him. I was really going to do it. Anxiety filled my chest and I thought that my sternum would pop.

He looked confused. "Yeah. Of course." He sat upright slightly, so I copied him.

I felt tears in my eyes. I hated to cry, especially in front of others. Austria had never seen me cry, and I didn't want that to change. I wasn't crying out of despair, but out of overwhelming feelings of anxiety and my gender pounding into my chest and head at an alarming rate. I finally mustered up just enough courage to speak to him. "I…I'm a man…" Traitor tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn't explain my words; it was too hard to do. I expected him to wonder what I meant. I expected him to say something like 'But…you don't have a penis.'

He looked at me, opening his mouth as if to speak but unable to. He suddenly hugged me tightly. "Hungary…Hungary, it's okay. You poor boy…You poor…poor boy…" He must've understood what I meant. I was happy that I wouldn't have to try to explain myself.

More traitor tears betrayed me, and I buried my head into his shoulder, softly weeping. I noticed that my hands were trembling and I gripped the back of his patched up white dress shirt tightly.

One of his slender hands rubbed my back caringly. "Vhy…didn't you tell me before? I vould've accepted you…"

"I…I'm sorry. I just…I'm scared to tell people. As a nation…other countries have known me as a voman for so long and…my people. The people of my country…Vhat vould they think?" I heard my voice crack. I hated my voice so much. It was so feminine. Everything about me reeked of effeminacy. Not that there was anything wrong with women, it just wasn't me and I didn't want it to be me.

He stroked my hair softly. I then heard his beautiful light and airy voice sing to me. He was singing Edelweiss. It made me smile to think how kind he was to me. The last thing I remember were the lyrics "You look happy to see me" as I closed my eyes and fell asleep in his warm chest.


	3. We Both Deserved That

He started calling me "Ede" which was the name of a famous male Hungarian artist. He had replaced the named Elizabeta with Ede. I liked it a lot. It fit me better. Elizabeta was such a feminine name.  
"Ede?" His voice was quiet. We were sitting outside together, sipping coffee while looking at the pretty garden.  
"Yes?" I looked up at his kind purple eyes.  
"Doesn't it ever bother you…? Knowing that other nations…view you as a girl? Does that ever get to you?" His voice was curious, yet concerned.  
"I guess I never really thought about it." I lied. I thought about it all the time, and it bugged me deeply. "I mean…countries have alvays known me as a voman. I mean…vell…Prussia didn't. Vhen I vas a young kid, I dressed in a masculine way. I had short hair. Because I didn't have breasts at that time everybody just called me a boy." I looked at him. "What about you? I sure it must bug you…being with out a man. Having to hide your orientation."  
He looked at me. "But I'm already married to a man." His purple eyes were so childish because of how innocent he looked.  
I looked at him. Before I could think, we were kissing. "I love you, Roderich…" I looked up into his purple eyes. "Vhat do you say ve date, because ve vant to and to cover up for each other? I'll continue to say that I'm a voman, and you'll continue to say that you're straight." I looked up at him.  
He nodded. "That sounds genius, Ede." I pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I love you, Hungary."  
"I love it when you call me Ede. It's so sveet of you." I smiled, and before he could speak, I kissed him again. I held his collar tightly with one hand. My other hand grabbed at his waist.

He pulled away for air, then went right back in. Our breathing was heavy and slightly sexual and his lips tasted like chocolate and coffee. My hand wandered under his shirt, rubbing at his torso and groping him and gripping at his body. His hands held me close to him.

I leaned into him, rubbing at his hardened nipple with my thumb. Then I realized something hard poking me in the abdomen. "Ahn..." He let out a little sexual moan. He looked embarrassed by the sound he had made and by his massive erection.

I smiled at him and pinned him to the bench we were sitting on, our tongues pushing each other around and shoving one another. His erection only grew as we continued to make out. Every once in a while, he'd whine sexually if I rubbed against it. His face was tinted with red. "Mmph...Hungary...Ahn..." His whole countenance was weakened, and he looked so submissive and adorable.

I stroked his hair gently. I took his curl in between my fingers, rubbing at it. He let out a lecherous moan, blushing incredibly. "Ahn! Ede~!" He looked incredibly embarrassed because of his moan. I kissed him passionately. Suddenly, he looked at me with innocent, large purple eyes. "E-Ede?"

"Yes?" I looked at him, concerned, thinking he was nervous or scared for some reason.

"H-How...vill ve...uhm...vill ve just...have sex like..." He was such a prudish man and I loved it. Even when he was making out with somebody, he couldn't even ask such a simple question.

"Good point. Ve...could borrow a strap-on?" I looked at him.

"Is it really sanitary to do that?" His eyes looked at me hesitantly, although he looked desperate and needy for sex.

"I don't think that large boner of yours vould really care." I looked at him, rubbing it through his trousers.

His dignified countenance instantly broke. He let out a moan. "Ahn...Ede, Fuhmph..." He looked at me submissively. "Okay, a-ask...France to borrow...vone..." He whined wantonly, grinding his hips against mine involuntarily. He let out another loud moan.

"Austria, ve're in public. You're such a dirty boy for making such a loud sexual sound like that outdoors. Vhat if somebody heard?" I smiled, biting and licking at a piece of skin on his neck.

"Mmmph...C-Call France...I need you...so badly, Ede...I can't...vait anymore..." His lip quivered as he shifted and squirmed. He moaned again. "Mmph..."

"Alright." I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I didn't like France, but I loved how there were always yaoi scenes happening when he was around.

I didn't expect him to answer, but he did. "Oui?"

"France...could ve...borrow a strap-on?" I slipped my hand down Austria's pants, rubbing at his shaft. He immediately let out a wanton and involuntary moan.

"Ahn! Hungary...Fmmph! Vhen you...ah...vhen you rub there..." His lip trembled and he had tears of pleasure in his eyes. "Ah, nein...France vill hear...Ahn! That feels good!"

"Ohonhon...you really need that right away, don't you?" France chuckled. I rubbed at the tip of Austria's erection.

"Fwaa~!" Austria let out a very loud moan, gripping my waist tightly. "Mmph!" I rubbed the length of it, paying extra attention to the head. "Ahn! Hungary, j-ja! Ah, vhat if people hear? Oh, yes..."

"Please just hurry, France." I said, slowly pumping Austria's penis.

"Alright, alright. I will. Austria...Austria sounds very 'orny over there. I'll get one over for you two lovebirds in like, ten minutes or so?" He said.

"Thanks." I ended the call, shoving the phone in my pocket. I unzipped Austria's pants, allowing more room for my hand. His underwear was very tight in the crotch because of how turned on he was.

"Nyagh...Ede...That feels...so good..." He squirmed and moaned again. "Mmph!" I moved lower, pulling down his underwear so that his erection stood proudly out in the open. His eyes shot open. "Ah...vhat if somebody sees...? Ede..."

I wrapped my lips around his erection, and his eyes went even wider. "Ahn! Hungary..." He moaned extremely loudly. "Ede!" I bobbed quickly, licking and swirling my tongue around. "Fya~!"

I hummed into the salty flavor, causing him to moan even louder. Austria gripped my hair tightly. "Ja! That feels so good!" His hips were twitching and begging to move, so I pressed his hips down with my hands to prevent him from humping up and gagging me.

I sucked even harder bobbing as quickly as I could. "Ahn! Hungary, I'm going to come!" One of his hands loosely rested of his mouth. His slender and pale fingers were gorgeous.

A sudden and familiar voice was heard from behind me. "Ohonhon...You got impatient, hm?"

"Just put it right there." I gestured to the pavement next to the bench we were on.

"Alright." He nodded, setting it down and walking off, getting out of our way.

I continued to bob, pulling at his curl quickly over and over again. "Ah! Ede! Ede! Fyyagh~!" He let out a lecherous moan as salty and sweet liquid filled my mouth. I pulled away, swallowing. He was blushing incredibly. "Ach...I'm s-sorry, that vas so early..."

I kissed him, gently, pulling his underwear back up. "It just means that you vere enjoying me. You used to take so long to come, that it vould get painful. I'm happy that you're getting pleasure from me, now."

He smiled sweetly and charmingly. "Because I never knew I vas having sex vith a man, I thought it vas a voman. I vas vrong." He kissed me passionately. I grabbed the strap on and we went inside.

I pushed him onto the bed removing his shirt almost instantly. His body was thin, and almost the color of the clean white sheets. "You're so handsome." I whispered into his ear, slipping my pants off. He removed his trousers.

I saw the tent formed in his underwear, and he let out a little sexual whine as he shifted. "Ahn...it's rubbing..." His lower lip trembled with pleasure.

"Getting off by inanimate objects...Tsk tsk...you're really somethin', aren't ya?" I slipped his underwear off, fully revealing his body. I displayed my fingers in front of his face, giving him simple instructions. "Suck."

He obeyed, seductively coating them with saliva. I smiled, spreading his legs. His purple eyes went wide. "Hungary...I've never had...sex this vay..."

I kissed his soft cheek. "I'll be gentle." I pushed a finger in. I loved how he instantly mewled, reacting to each and every one of my movements. I slowly moved my finger around, moving it in and out, back and forth in a slow rhythm. He let out another soft whimper.

"Ah..." His lower lip trembled as I slowly pushed in another finger. I wanted to be as gentle as possible with him, but I also loved being in control. It gave me a sense of power and strength. It gave me a feeling of manliness I hadn't felt before. Austria was an amazing man, he had done so much for me. He made me feel like the man I am. He calls me Ede, calls me a man. I love him so much. "Ahn...Ede...Mmph..." His moans were hushed, yet intense.

I curled my fingers, scissoring them, trying my best to loosen muscles. I didn't know much about being dominant in bed, I was just doing whatever felt natural. Luckily, he seemed to be loving it.

When I felt like he was loosened enough, I slowly removed my fingers. I slipped my boy's shorts off and put the strap on on. It was the kind that was smaller at the female's end, and gave the clitoris attention.

I spread his legs further, and he wrapped his legs around my waist. I smiled, pushing in slowly. I loved the feeling of humping downward into somebody.

He whimpered and whined and squirmed. His tearful purple eyes looked extremely pained. He tried to adjust, and his countenance tightened.

I leaned down, whispering apologies into his ear. "I'm sorry, Roderich. I love you, Roderich. You'll get used to it, Roderich." Eventually, he did seem to get used to it, so I slowly began thrusting. The strap on rubbed each time I moved, and it felt amazing. I let out a moan on accident. "Mmph..."

He gripped the back of my shirt tightly. "Ahn...It feels good." That man really had an iron grip.

I chuckled softly at him, changing angles each time, trying my best to find his prostate. Suddenly, he cried out with pleasure. "E-Ede! Ahn!" I knew I had just found it. "Do that again! Fwa~! Right there!"

"Hmm..." I said teasingly, as if deciding if I wanted to or not. "Do you mean...here?" I slammed into his prostate, letting out a moan as the strap on slammed into my clitoris. "Fmmph!" A moan forced it's way out of my mouth. Soon, a salvo of moans occurred from the both or us.

"Ah! Ede! That feels good!" He humped up and down. A battalion of humping and moaning occurred.

I humped faster and faster, orgasming, truly. It wasn't a fake orgasm which I had to do a few times, no, it was a true orgasm. And it felt amazing. I continued, going stronger and faster.

"Nyaah~!" He moaned. He shut his eyes, grinding his teeth together, humping up and down. I reached down, rubbing at his erection. I could tell that he was so close. I could also tell that he was embarrassed about it, and trying his best to hold back.

I pumped at erection quickly, and he buried his head into my shoulder. "Mmmph! Ah! Ede~!" I felt warm stickiness cover our abdomens, and he looked insanely guilty. I slowly pulled out, kissing his cheek. I removed the strap on, letting it drop to the floor. I observed Austria, trembling and blushing incredibly. His lower abdomen was coated in viscous white semen, and his lip trembled.

"Ah, you made a mess, didn't you?" I grabbed a towel from the nightstand, beginning to clean him up.

He looked completely embarrassed. "It vas so early...I'm sorry..." He could barely speak. I felt so bad for him.

"It vasn't that early. And besides, I'm happy that it's easier for you to come." I pecked his cheek. "Before you knew I was a man, it took you a very long time to come. It vould get to the point vhere it vould start to be painful. Sex is good, but it's something I don't vant to last for a long vhile. I prefer vhen sex is a few minutes of extreme pleasure instead of a long time of pain and faking passion." I kissed him, finishing cleaning up after his mess. He had stained the white bed sheets, and my shirt. I didn't even know he could come that much. Maybe it wasn't that he had a lot of semen, but that his projectile was crazy.

I lay next to him. We kissed weakly each other. He set his head down on my chest, smiling contently. Soon, we both fell asleep holding each other.

I love him. No matter what happens, I will always love Roderich.


End file.
